you've got to L.O.V.E your neighbours

you've got to L.O.V.E your neighbours

favourite pictures of favourite people

a lot of the people i love live so far away so i have to stick their pictures on my walls to remind myself they're real.

i include myself in this montage yes i know. i just like the picture.

england all covered in snow

we went to a local produce kind of shop thing in preston, you know all the local grown, organic food. mum brought her brussel sprouts still on the stem, i got me some pheasant pate and tea pigs. dad got some posh type of bread. it was pretty la di da walking around the place with a miniature shopping trolley. i felt like we were playing at shopping with on of those expensive supermarket sets you get a small spoilt child. and of course i was wearing my hunter welly's and sporting my camera, wish i'd taken my ipad with me and possibly an english pointer and a land-rover just to really prove myself.

i got a little bored of food shopping so i was exploring and i saw this lovely red light falling on the corn... how romantic. i felt like anne of prince edward island in raptures over the sight.

the back of the shop was more farm-like, but the paintwork was this lovely blue, so i took some pictures, as a photography student does.
i quite like this little diptych.

i got me some icicles outside my window, i feel like i'm back in utah.

i broke on off to see what could do with it, sword fights and stuff but it started to melt so quickly. i had to run downstairs and get my dad to take a picture of me before it completely melted, hence no makeup and looking kinda gross but definitely excited. it was much bigger before some of it broke off in the sink.

new camera

got a 5D mark ii
yes! (air punch)

Chorley art scene are go

I've decided my mission for 2011 is to create some kind of art scene in chorley through zines and the Internet, and hopefully exhibitions. I reall enjoyed making my zine and website for my first step into the project.
I think I've figured out what i want to do after uni

Stay in chorley!!!!


But move out.

I really want to get some government funding and work with the local schools colleges to help people see the actual potential for art education, I say this not to be a hippy at all but because when i was at parklands we learnt picasso and we drew with pencil crayons. There was no understanding at to the relevance of this particular class we just liked drawing so we drew for 2 hours a class. Or dossed and set fire to the desk if you were one of he chavs in the class. I didn't have a clue about art theories, art history, modern parcticioners or what I would do with this like i had for drawing and collies. I got to college and again we jus drew I didn't understand why i was doing it or where it would lead so i ended up dropping out deciding archaeology was the thing for me instead.

It wasn't

But I would love kids and adults to know that if the like drawing there are paths it can lead down.

So I'm going to get a local job, a local flat and work towards getting government funding for this idea of mine and see if i can cause some change in my hometown.

nice one mum

washing up today wearing a high waisted flared skirt and heels i asked my mum if i looked like a 50's housewife, she said yes, one who's friends with MR T!

it's funny



Leah and i braved a 4 hour drive to go to bath to meet up for some group date type thing. it was pretty lovely. the place and the people. the bits i enjoyed the most were the carol concert in the abbey and the carousel. the abbey was packed with people who i'm sure were wondering how they'd managed to get seated in the building when they were just generally following the crowd in front of the entrance. we sang the carols and some choir boy did a solo (not a guitar one though there was a carved angel rocking on a lute). the priest told a joke about good king wenceslas's favourite pizza being deep and crisp and even. i felt extremely jolly and christmassy.
i loved the drive down with leah talking history and life, i love that she's as intense as i am. but she's probably a little bit more fun.
i feel like i've only had a taster of the place though. its so hard to see everything in just a few hours. i need to keep going back to love it and know it. i find big bustling cities really scary until i find my own niche within them like i have with manchester.

some pictures i enjoy from the visit.

yo chorley, how you doing

fave picture from new chorley project.

most came out badly.... lets hope the forcast is wrong about snow on monday and tuesday. i need more picture!!!

get behind me, santa

i've started this years christmas cd.

feeling a little giddy.

Unexpected lessons

Someone shared an article with me today called “The Transforming Power of Faith and Character," by Richard G. Scott. It knocked my mind back into place, all my thoughts which were at panic stations due to my lack of juggling skills with my responsibilities, are now back to flowing a little more happily along.
I have a lot to think about
Getting the grades I want at uni, working out what comes next after uni, money, my calling at church where I have responsibility for the 14-15 year old girls to teach and help them, trying to be social as I do genuinely want to find someone to love and he ain't in the north west of England, helping my parents as they help two sets of aging stubborn grandparents etc etc
But this article helped me realize a few thing about myself, it says that

Faith and character are intimately related. Faith in the power of obedience to the commandments of God will forge strength of character available to you in times of urgent need. Such character is not developed in moments of great challenge or temptation. That is when it is intended to be used.

Quite rousing. I realized I do have the character needed in me, built up from years of experience, and i can get through these things in my life, the towering uncertainty, the desires to escape through mindless media- hence my re reading of Harry potter and countless other childrens books which have swam my way (but i have still been learning Percy Jacksons been helping me scrub up on my Greek myths ahem). all this escapism which i have been selling into including my having these crazy desires to think about shoes and clothes and makeup instead of what i should be doing. I've been lusting over a pair of French connection shoes for going on a month now, I got to the point where I cut a picture of them out of the catalogue and fixed it on my mirror.

Here again the article helped

Material things do not of themselves produce happiness and satisfaction and the joy of attainment on earth. Nor do they lead us to exaltation. It is nobility of character, that fabric of inner strength and conviction woven from countless righteous decisions, that gives life its direction.

Those shoes won't give me satisfaction, just smugness. Caring for those girls, getting the grades, working hard to figure out what I want to do with my life and helping my parents will bring that satisfaction. I threw away the picture of the shoes and am starting over. Today marks the days when I man up and take on my responsibilities head on.

Thanks Richard G. Scott and Suzanne who reminded me about it.

to make myself feel better

i have actually taken some pictures i like
just a couple though

it's odd when you start using large format cameras because you hardly take pictures anymore. you just think about taking pictures a lot and store the ideas up for when you can next afford film and lug the camera around. i kind of miss just taking pictures for fun right now, i need to get my konica out again.
i can't get myself going. 12 o clock and no pictures.
stupid late nights.


there is something really satisfying about looking all round the highstreet for some shoes you have a picture of in your mind, then finding them by chance in your size in a charity shop in chorley.

nothing beats it.

dad says they are slippers
do i care?

deadlines tomorrow

lets see what goes wrong today.
thankfully i've turned into a hard worker, i can't imagine what third year would be like if i was still the slacker i was at 14.
positive attitude.


boo uni work when it all goes wrong
hello camera obscura and the dancing you make me do

this song makes me happy in my momentary melancholy.
maybe because the song is happy in its own melancholy.

dot to dot

i wonder if my images need to match so much. it could be interesting to do a dot to dot of my memories. images of people, places and objects that make up who i am? do i need one theme? or can i have many? or is that just being overly self-indulgent?

maybe i could just put it on an ikea bookshelf, it just feels right to fill them with swedish books i can't ever hope to understand.

new uk edition

oh thats right- really boring.

spoilt much

my parents spoil the living daylights out of me.
i can no longer claim to be the forgotten child. kind parents.


round two
ding ding

false starts

i seem to have forgotten everything i ever learnt about photography. in a completely amateur fashion i have taken two pictures on one sheet of film.

all my metering was wrong. i'm a mess.

oh well, at least because its so expensive i won't take it lightly. monday is the next and last shoot and i best get it right as i only have 10 sheets of film left for it.


do the whirlwind

my mind is going insane. i have so many wonderful thoughts and ideas... for once. i'm super excited about the waterstones project i'm doing. i'm kind of exploring how when you work somewhere or live somewhere that space is yours, you know it inside out, when you leave or someone else moves in that space is still known to you but no longer accessible. it's something i've found at quite a few places i've worked. i've lived in the same home all my life so i don't understand it in regards to homes, walking past the home you used to live in knowing it's someone else's and you can't just stroll in, however a family i knew moved out of thier house to go down south, and another family i knew moved in. so this house was accessible to me but in slightly different relationships... if that makes sense. it was interesting to see how the boyfriend of one of the girls who moved out felt going to the house no longer belonging to a family with any romantic ties. he felt constricted.

well i used to love the upper floors of waterstones where the signage is kept. it's been left in a kind of disrepair and the windows up there are beautiful, so many of them with light desperately shining through trying to expose all the nooks and crannies. i'm going to look at this space once so special to me and now inaccessible. i took some digital photos and i love some of the ideas i've had. i cannot wait to get them done large format.

i know that buildings in disrepair may be an overdone topic but for the record i'm not doing this because i like buildings in disrepair in all their dereliqueness it's because i believe in magic.

ivy and gold

you know when you finally think you might be able to make it.
i think i'm going to make it.
i love this picture. i'm so happy it came out exactly how i wanted. i really love large format. and libs.

this may always make me laugh

i think this weekend i really realised i was an adult.
i'm an adult.

or maybe i just realised that all my friends are adults and i'm older than a lot of them so it was time to maybe become one myself.

oh money where hast thou gone?

i finally manned up and bought the colour sheets.

ouch my pocket.

where children sleep

i think upbringing is a big deal. i think environment has a huge impact of human development.
this book is beautiful in its approach of such an innocent and delicate subject.

James Mollison has an arresting style. his other projects are equally interesting and beautiful.


after waiting and researching about up and coming releases from sufjan stevens for ages now i managed to completely miss the fact that he had a new album out.

i feel like one of those people (namely myself) who walk around with their glasses on their head asking everyone if they've seen their specs.
so i went and bought it yesterday in manchester and i saw right alongside it the new belle and sebastian album, these together combine to show me that i am now officially out of the music loop as not only am i incapable of finding cool hip new bands, i also cannot keep track of the people i liked in the first place.

i kind of am appreciative of this post on the age of adz mostly for it's warnings to stop me spewing out my own cheerios across my kitchen table.

it's nothing new

but i really love this campaign.
i'm a sucker for good advertising

i want to buy the whole men's collection right now.

continuez en avant

still playing around with this camera. still quite enamoured by it.
i'm starting to love the darkroom also which is something i never thought would happen. i'm still not a big fan of enlarging, but developing my negatives is ridiculously relaxing. it's nice to get a break. although all i talk about on here is photography, i'm actually busy busy busy.
chocolate fondu night with the young women, ice skating and hitting the northern quarter of manchester all in the same week may sound like mere fun an frivolity but it's a hard life i lead.


i just found out how much colour 5 x 4 film is

i got me some hot chocolate

i harbor a bit of love for this one

lets take and old fashioned walk

i'm pleased.
even with a shoddy scan in... looks like i'll have to find someway of scanning in large format negatives if i want to carry on this way, and i do.

old mistakes

i like my old mistakes a lot
you look back on them and see they are, in fact, beautiful.

5x4 = wicked awesome

or 20

so i took some pictures over the weekend of james perry and ben and i was pretty scared. its so wonderful using my beautiful camera but i get scared i'm doing it all wrong. but i didn't! i did it all right. it's about time really. third year right.

however i did mess up the development of one image. but ben didn't care because it wasn't of him, i think he told me this as he was doing his mirror face at himself in a reflective surface.

uh huh mm hmm

i love this picture of my grumpy mug. the colours are delicious.

and in return

I'm researching contemporary photographers who are in the industry i want to follow (for an essay). so far the industry i want is 'i take pictures when i like of what i like.'

that idea sits particularly well in my mind.

it's interesting how the same photographers have stayed my favourite throughout my course.
it's interesting that the photographers i like all believe in a kind of seeing which goes against the old kodak slogan of "you push the button and we do the rest." it's making a picture, creating something carefully and skillfully

Rineke Dijkstra is fantastic. i was reading an interview she did and i loved how she takes photographs for herself. i love their serene beauty.

and i also have always adored alec soth

good job i finally got myself a 5x4 camera so i can at least attempt to keep up with them. now for that seeing part.

i was just made aware of this

how did it pass me by it's absolute love

oh what a surprise

it's raining
and i'm already bored of it.

get a new routine north west england.



i went to visit my sister in essex. i took a train over to see ben on the first night and we went along the beach/pier bit, tried (and i failed) at longboarding and ate donuts (which i could hardly manage).

i felt more like myself this night than i have in a long time. i've missed that feeling where i'm free to do anything, where the weather is nice and i have good company and a poncho.

i don't really do wedding photography

first lot of scanning done... hurrah

the courage of others

i have 6 films which need to be developed,
2 in the process of being used.

i have nothing to show for myself as yet

but i like this

The birthday party by Vee Speers

i liked you for that

for the first time in a long time i enjoyed a film which i'd hyped to myself to excess.

my eyes are dim i cannot see

we've been over and over, this thing we call photoshop
and i've been thinking about what my friends would say if i were to give it up
co i've been tired and hopeful for far too long now
so i'm giving it up giving up giving up on

i'm at efy

and i have the internet

insider outsider

i'm trying to think very hard on what i can do for my third year project. what could be the least pretentious, but also something new and with meaning. who wants to just churn out something thats been done a million times before. so i thought maybe the best thing for me to do was to focus on what i know, my own culture. this insider outsider culture has been done often by people but i don't know anyone who has done it from my angle, a young adult member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints in england. i have so many people who get quite shocked over the fact that i am religious and not just Christian but Mormon. i want to break down the stereotypes which are not negative or prejudice but just unknowing.

well i guess we'll see what this develops into but i'm going to start by photographing as many people as a possibly can at the ysa convention this year. surprisingly members if my church are extremely normal looking and have a huge variety of interests and talents. they all dress quite differently and are from lots of nationalities. right.

plus it's the easiest place to get photos like this, they'll all be coming to me.. maybe if i provide munchables.

i'm just rushed right off my feet


but scared. interning at the gallery is perfect but i am petrified for third year. i just got some of my results back for one of my modules

pretty rubbish, i seem to either excel or complete bomb out


i love the gallery though
there is such a thing as a musical tour

dance dance

Loving this kids dancing could never be wrong

i aint no gamer i aint no hipster either but

i'm really looking forward to this.

oh my orange

this is but a quarter of said orange
as you can probably tell it's from booths

ah hem hem hem

jucy beastie
i have an internship. it's at the place where i volunteer so i'm excited but because it's paid it's going to be a whole new kettle of fish. i am going to get PAID. bank.

its going to be weird doing the full time work thing again even if it is only for a month. i'm super excited, i'm excited to be in the gallery 5 times a week. being there always gives me some kind of inspiration, or hope. i see something which triggers something else for me which is always good as yes i am drawing a blank at the moment. i took some wedding photos as a favour the other week and i'm not especially proud of them. i wish i'd been able to do better but i was unused to the camera i was using and with wedding photography i feel i have to produce a style which isn't my own. basically i'm never going to be able to sell anything i do because i can't create something from someone else's spec. i know mel doesn't mind about her photos so much but i know her family and the grooms family will.

i have to force myself to edit them tonight or they will never get done.

the garden looks nice though. i pat myself on the back for my ultimate and most epic weeding prowess.

you'll never be alone again

my sister thinks i should drop my female friends and start the hunt for a man

i think that would be like shaving all my hair off or cutting off my right hand: painful, embarrassing and completely unnecessary.

i love them too much


i just need to try harder... or try less.

in passing

i've realised i have some prettiness
but it's the kind of prettiness which goes to seed quite easily.
i wish i was one of those people who could get fat and stay nice looking because their jawlines are so chiseled.

"mum and dad are away" treats are probably the opposite of what i should be munching.

lubitel love part II

this is me... alone

i am the only one in this house.

photo flop.

i attempted photoshop

i was going for etherial but i'm not sure if it works with her looking like she's strainging to see what the teacher wrote on the blackboard. i like the colours though.

the line of her neck and the way her hair was done reminded me of a mucha
i'll maybe try this again...